IVF Failure

Ouchie :(
photo credit: WolfS♡ul via photopin cc

We came back from vacation on Sunday and had our second ultrasound on Monday. The news was heartbreaking to say the least. The ultrasound looked almost exactly the same as it did the previous week, with the exception that there was more blood around the sac and it was not connected to the womb.  
The baby just stopped growing. We don't know why. There was a yolk sac, but again nothing increased in size during that week. My body was ready to miscarry but the meds were keeping everything in place.  

I thought I could prepare myself for this possibility but it hit us both pretty hard. I cried my eyes out. Even today, 3 days later I still have my ups and downs, especially when I see baby clothes that we won't be buying. Mr. Blue has been a saint and so supportive. I just don't know what I did wrong.  I tried to be so careful.  

Needless to say the Doctor had me stop the meds on Monday and the bleeding started yesterday. It hasn't been very heavy but it is brown which means the blood is old and was ready to go a while ago. Today the cramps have been horrible. I've had chemical miscarriages before and they were similar to a period. I thought that's how this would be. I was so wrong. The pain is almost as bad as the first ectopic when my tube burst. Vicodin is my friend.

So right now my body needs to pass this out and recover. Then they'll do a few tests to see if they can figure anything out.

We still have one little guy frozen so we'll try again after the new year. I really thought we had it this time.  

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm very thankful that I have Mr. Blue. He's an amazing and incredible man.

I'm thankful that I have a great family, and I'm thankful to have Gidget, she's great with fuzz therapy.

Hugs to all.